You are viewing [info]benosmash's journal

About this Journal
Current Month
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31
Aug. 5th, 2008 @ 05:20 am Seeing your face makes mine itch.
o1. Grab the nearest book.
o2. Open the book to page twenty-three.
o3. Find the fifth sentence.
o4. Post the text of the next five sentences in your journal along with these instructions:
--Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

Quenthal wouldn't have time to attempt another spell before the spider reached her, nor could she outrun it. She would have to out-maneuver the spider instead. Dropping the useless sheet of parchment, she turned and dived beneath the belly of one of the statues. Unless it had the power to shrink or shapeshift, the invader wouldn't be able to negotiate the same low space.
She slid on the floor, rubbing her elbow hot.

'tis a good book.
About this Entry
Epic, Hospital Harbor
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Aug. 1st, 2008 @ 02:54 am It happened so quick...
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
OMG, It just happened so quickly!

I was sitting there at my console when there was this loud noise (well, it was more like a bunch of loud noises) and everything went dark. After what seemed an eternity, the emergency lights came on. When I saw what had happened down deeper into my area, I was dumbfounded. But then I realized that all that machinery toppled on top of one of my co-workers. I rushed up to see if I could help but before I got more than a couple steps I slipped and fell on a piece of debris. I didn't pay it any mind because there was someone who could be severely injured not more than a few meters away!
When I got to the toppled machinery, I looked across it into the eyes of my lead and we both shared a thought... That the guy who the machinery toppled on top of was dead. We couldn't tell and we didn't know, but somehow we both knew for sure that this was the case. Just after that, he looked down and that caught my attention so I looked too.
What I saw was something I never want to see again. I saw a shard of my co-worker's jaw sticking from my hand, impaling itself into my hand with the bone that snapped off and through the skin. I guess the force of the impact between the guy's head and the floor was enough to cause his jaw to explode outward, which is what I slipped on...
As I type this, I'm actually feeling a bit woozy. I've got my hand above my heart and I'm typing this while I wait for the emergency medical services to show up, but I can only guess that there's so much for them to do that they can't get to me yet.
It's just crazy... My co-worker is dead and I've got his jaw impaled in my hand. I can see the teeth and the fleshy bits and muscle still on the bone, all jagged and rough from where it all ripped and tore apart from the rest of his head.
it all happened so quick I don't know what to think or even to say. I guess I can say that I'm glad to be alive. But am I really glad to be alive?
About this Entry
Epic, Hospital Harbor
4 comments
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 30th, 2008 @ 06:06 am A juxtaposition of mortal souls defies the logic of... Yes.
Tags: , , ,
A fine line.
A clear distinction.
A Place and time of utter fertility.
Fertility of thought.

Older than my days
Younger than my life.
Forever seeing
and never knowing.

We live in a paradox.
Everyone lives.
Everyone lives to escape death.
Everyone dies.

So few understand.
Comprehension of place.
They know the way,
The way of life and death.

And no matter how they try,
Try to live life to the fullest,
Everyone fails in the grandest of ways.
They fail themselves into quiet graves.

I know my place.
It's a place of a failing equilibrium.
A place of darkness and light.
A place where happiness is enjoyed but ever fleeting.

In my place, life is simple and complex.
So simple at times it's white and black.
At others, there are such variations,
variations of gray I can't distinguish anything.

I'm looking for something. I have no idea what.
I just know that I'm looking. I don't even know if I'll know when I find it.
I sometimes fear that I'll look right at it and then pass my gaze along and continue on in my search.
I have and inkling as to what I'm searching for.
I think it has to do with a fuller life.
I think that for some reason I'm feeling an urge to gather everything together and settle down.
That, and I want to get out and actually do something other than venture about my small little corner of the world.
At times I wonder whether I'll ever be able to fulfill both of these urges.
The one to find a wife, be happily married, have a couple of children, own a house and work a job that will help to support my family.
The other being to leave my house one day and just go. Go out into the world and see and experience things that could not have been experienced living a semi-safe life in my hometown.

uh, yay gibberish? I felt like writing earlier and it's kinda been percolating the last day or two. The above is what I put down, although it isn't nearly what iI had intended to write when I sat down.

~~Enjoy~~
About this Entry
Epic, Hospital Harbor
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Jul. 26th, 2008 @ 04:48 am Oven
Copy/pasted from Tyler. this is really interesting.


During the summer of 1983, in a quiet town near Minneapolis, Minnesota, the charred body of a woman was found inside the kitchen stove of a small farmhouse. A video camera was also found in the kitchen, standing on a tripod and pointing at the oven. No tape was found inside the camera at the time.

Although the scene was originally labeled as a homicide by police, an unmarked VHS tape was later discovered at the bottom of the farm’s well (which had apparently dried up earlier that year).

Despite its worn condition, and the fact that it contained no audio, police were still able to view the contents of the tape. It depicted a woman recording herself in front of a video camera (seemingly using the same camera the police found in the kitchen). After positioning the camera to include both her and her kitchen stove in the image, the tape then showed her turning on the oven, opening the door, crawling inside, and then closing the door behind her. Eight minutes into the video, the oven could be seen shaking violently, after which point thick black smoke could be seen emanating from it. The camera then continued to point at the oven for another 45 minutes until the batteries apparently died.

To avoid disturbing the local community, police never released any information about the tape, or even the fact that it was found. Police were also not able to determine who put the tape in the well…

…or why the body of the woman on the tape did not in any way resemble the body of the woman found in the oven.
About this Entry
Epic, Hospital Harbor
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Apr. 23rd, 2008 @ 04:24 am I really should go and die as told.
HOW THE FUCK DO I MANAGE TO GET DOWN ON MYSELF SO FRIGGEN EASY????

Now that the screaming is over I think I'll try to think it out and maybe explain it..

...
...
...

Okay, so I lied... I went and did other stuff. Things like stretching and excercises. Since my brother is already in bed, I couldn't gain access to my bike or a set of weights, so i had to make due. the stretches were nice though. got my mind off things enough to calm down. I'm still displeased with myself though and as usual it isn't going to resolve itself (or rather, my mood isn't going to really go away until) until I can talk with the person again... and that person isn't talking. >_<

This seems to be a trend this week. and it all has to do with things I say. I have a tendancy to run my mouth at inopportune times. sometimes with invalid information and at others with the wrong thing to say. and it seems that each time it goes the same way. I'm talking to someone and I say something and that person gets angry. Now, this person is able to (or I think she is) forgive me pretty easily. I however can't. It might have to do with the lack of talking and sudden departures. but anyway, I say something, the other party becomes highly displeased with me and stops talking with me. I try to apologize, but understandably they are stil not happy with me (and most likely they don't want to say things they'll regret) and they log out after a time. Sometimes I get a prompt goodbye. Anyway, after X number of hours have passed I've been able to kind of forgive myself, but by this time I've been able to steep in my own thoughts and brew a nice little funk in my head. after a while of talking to the person they can usually draw me out of it, but even so...

I'm tired of doing this. I make myself and others angry or saddened or other varying negative emotions and then I make myself worse after waiting a varying number of hours before talking with the person again. the only solution I can think of (in this mindset anyway) is to just shut up and not talk to anyone anymore. it seems to be the only viable solution because no matter what, something slips out that manages to make someone not pleased.

I'm awesome, neh?
/sarcasm

Essentially, this whole thing was supposed to be how I say something, anger/(insert appropriate emotion here) someone and make myself suffer for it. not sure how I did because I'm refusing to proofread this, but I hope i did the job...
About this Entry
Epic, Hospital Harbor
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Apr. 20th, 2008 @ 06:26 am Drowning in the tide
Current Mood: morosemorose
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
As much as I try to stay afloat in the ocean, there is always something to pull me under so that I might fight back to the surface. There are no life-preservers or buoys for me to hold onto. There is nothing but the deep dark depths and my own power.

There is only speculation as to what I can do and what is possible in my situation. I can only rely on what I have read or heard about in the past. I can only rely on Intuition. Because here, intuition is all I know. Intuition is all I have.

On rare occasion, a small scrap of something floatable with float into sight, then into reach. I pull these things to myself and hope that more arrive from whence they came and I scan the horizon for more. The horizon is bleak though, and disturbed by the tumultuous nature of the open ocean.

Between these scraps any my intuition, I have managed to do okay. Not great, and not well, but okay. They have led me to small sandbars and various miniature islands, but none have proved fruitful, so I have set out or been washed back to sea by incoming waves.

In the recent past, I have come upon another island. I haven't explored it yet, but I can tell you that it seems far more plentiful than anything else I've come across while drifting in this forsaken ocean. It has helped me discover new things to float with, even though I do not have the tools to gather the larger and better-suited objects I could use. I have been learning ever since I laid eyes on this particular island. Even when my feet were being cut by the coral surrounding the island was I learning something.

Now, I fear that I have jeapordized the delicate balance I have attained with this island and it's natural defenses and beasts. I don't fear that I shall be put back out to sea. But there is a fear of losing the valuable nutrition I have so readily been absorbing from this island. Should those defenses rise against me, I shall have to wade in the coral again and I would rather avoid that obstacle if I can.

For now, I an safe and on dry land. I should hope to keep it that way.
About this Entry
Epic, Hospital Harbor
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Mar. 25th, 2008 @ 07:04 am Good Morning
Tags: , ,
Talking with her is like witnessing the sunrise.
Always, there is a sense of joy.
Without fail I smile and I am enraptured,
though each time is different,
radiant and spectacular, never dissapointing.
At the very beginning of each encounter,
my pulse quickens, happy to be there at that moment in time.
And each time the event is ended, there is a longing for the next.
For those few special moments...
Those moments with her.
About this Entry
GotMojo?
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Mar. 16th, 2008 @ 03:10 am My inspiration
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Tags: , , , , , , ,
The first time,
for the rest of my life.
I'm gone to bed.

Before the spell,
after departure.
One word uplifts.

Uplifts as a gentle breeze,
keeping a feather afloat.
Afloat in the heavens.

She uplifts me
Like no one can
With just one word.

It isn't just any word.
Not a particular word.
It's her word.

And so I lie
falling asleep.
inert.

Failing to hear,
even the one.
one word from her.
About this Entry
Beat-up
14 comments
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Mar. 6th, 2008 @ 05:17 am Distractions
Tags: , ,
In my mind she floats.
A ghost in the fog of thought,
when will she come next?
About this Entry
Epic, Hospital Harbor
Leave a comment
Permanent Link
Feb. 21st, 2008 @ 09:55 am I'm. Back?
I don't know quite how long it has been since I've had a compy that is able to work properly. I've yet to test if this one does too, but I have high hopes for the future. Especially if I can get a HDD with more than 6G of hard drive space. This problem should hopefully be remedied in the future, but for now this box serves just fine.

It's lacking, but I'm kinda tired right now. Yay sleep.

~Beno
About this Entry
Epic, Hospital Harbor
Leave a comment
Permanent Link